The open relationship. Does it work?

August 11, 2010

I was listening to a radio station topic this morning and I liked the discussion and where it went. The topic was about a young lady 24, who is married and has an open relationship with her spouse at the same time. Her and her husband allows third party individuals into their bed with "ground rules". Such as no men allowed, no going back for seconds without the other spouse. This is not a one time thing either, this is how their relationship is permanently. The younger generation always try to find ways to justify "truly believing" that actions such as that in this topic a healthy element for a relationship. I think that once you openly bring someone into your bed in a relationship the foundation is taken from under the relationship. The building blocks has began to get removed, the door for distrust, jealousy, spitefulness, and a myriad of other relationship damaging emotions are opened. The idea of doing it openly immediately negates whatever rules you try to put in place. You can't tell me I can be with another woman/man when you are around and not when you are not. You can't tell me to not catch feelings for someone we are sleeping with on a regular basis. Such rules are going to rarely get honored and probably only during the early stages of the induction of the act. This goes for both the man and the woman.It is one thing to spice up the sex life in a relationship but it is a totally different thing to attempt to build a healthy relationship around an idea like this, which is basically sharing. When you are young this may seem fun, exciting, and an easy way to avoid cheating. However I must agree with the host of the show. When your mind grows to a new level, everyone reaches a point where they want to be wanted by only one person and they only want one person. To have somone to call their own and to be claimed by one person. No matter what is done or committed behind closed doors, to that person you are their only one and you are theirs. That feeling is what makes the relationship special. Nothing is special about something everyone has.If you are young or old and want to have open relationships with people, then you must be strong enough to just say that, do that, and not call it a relationship. I believe that many people tend to attempt to have relationships due to forces outside of what they actually want and more importantly what they are ready for. I am single because I choose to be. I guess I have not reached the point where I truly want to claim anyone and even more importantly ready to be claimed by anyone.Only The Strong Survive, The Ghost

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