Conversation with D, I woke up this morning in my soul and he spoke back to me…
What up doe, Lil Bro, Big Dog, Young OG, Angel of the Afterlife, natural born King!
“Good morning, Big Bro stop mourning,
get up my baby do a favor for me, I need you to sing!”
I heard you clear, but you ain’t here!
Mental and emotional wars raging, my mind and heart racing!
The thought of me feeling joyous doesn’t feel fair!
“I need you to do this for me and I need to do this for you,
It’s my gift, merry Christmas, now I need you to sing!
Not in the sense of vocal words, but by remembering happy times,
You’ve always been my rock and I’ve always been your motivation now I need you to sing!”
This time last year I just wanted breath, to pop something, release the anger and guilt, I wanted to grieve.
I wanted to punch the wall, wanted to scream, to ride my bike fast, rewind time, anything to ease the sting.
“I know, but I need you to accept the past and forget the guilt, it hurt my heart to see you that way. I feel flattered that after all these years you still mourn me so hard, but today we gonna take a better way.
Nephew Nico just came home, he needs your guidance, we lost him once don’t let him stray.
Focus on getting AP home, and prepare for when Rico come home.
Put the band back together and this time make them stay!”
“We got more work to do its bigger then me and you, so come on and ride with me and sing!”
If that’s your wish, I accept your gift, even in the afterlife you’re my motivation yall all are but, YOU are the one that knows how to make me tick.
You got me smiling right now when I don’t want to, you get on my nerves this is some crazy shit.
But you are right we got some good ones and those memories will never fade.
We have Lena dying laughing with stories from back in the day. especially the one about the fire pants.
And Najah speaks of you with familiarity like yall were the closest of friends.
The Parker blood is alive in her, she praises her Uncle AP and Uncle Dee like there is no end.
“Ha ha ha!!! You were wild for that I remember that day. That was whack.
I owe you one for having my legs on fire on the porch in the back.
Damn now you got my eyes cloudy. Tell her I miss her, she will always be my “Big Snacks”…”
No tears Bro, I just shook my sadness so don’t make it return.
Ha ha ha, I told you don’t touch my stuff, way before Usher I was making it burn! Ha ha ha…!!!
Thank you for the gift, for the rest of the day I’ll sing, and tonight I’m going to kiss your urn.
You for me, me for you, I can’t wait to see you when the powers to be decides that it’s my turn.
One of the few men I’ve ever loved. I enjoyed the conversation. Thank you and I miss you
A’Darius L. Parker
01/05/1985 - 12/19/2004
Always Loved, Never Forgotten